England just beat Bangladesh 2 – nil in a test series, after winning something called one day internationals 3 – nil. Captain Cook was in charge, apparently someone called Kevin Pietersen found some touch and a small ginger person called Ian Bell found some balls. I was fairly sure I knew there was some cricket on the telly, Christ – I pay ¬£40 a month to ensure I can watch it, but most of it was on while I was asleep, and I couldn’t be arsed to get sleep deprived for this series. And then I kept missing the highlights. Hey, no worries though, this weekend I can watch four IPL games, for free on ITV 4, whooopeee!

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