What advice would you give to a bunch of chaps travelling to the sub-continent? Don’t drink the tap water? Be careful with the prawns? Keep hold of your bags at the airport? Don’t upset the locals by refusing to buy a Buddha statue? Nope, South Africa coach Mickey Arthur has given some top cricketing tips to The Wisden Cricketer on how to adapt to the unique conditions in India. The Wisden Cricketer has given them to The Times, which means you can read them for free, here. Perhaps you could pass them on to Mickey Arthur? Only then would the circle truely be complete.

Here are some of Mickey’s missives (TVC coments in italics):
* Be prepared to play boring cricket (we invented boring cricket)
* In India the game is very slow to begin with (especially if Cook and Collingwood are batting!)
* Win the toss and bat first (no useless tossers required)
* Stay leg side of the ball and score through off (avoids LBWs on the piss poor slow wickets)
* You need two key scoring options against India’s spinners (shots would be nice)
* Stephen Harmison is crucial (oh dear!)
* Bowl reverse swing (sounds sensible)
* In India “caught cover” is as good as “caught second slip” (suitably village)