So, you are lucky enough to play cricket for England. Therefore, you don’t have a proper job. You get paid for doing what the rest of us pay good money to do for fun, and what we pay big money to watch live or on TV. You’ve got a shot at winning half-a-million quid. You’ve got an all expenses paid trip to the Caribbean, for you and the missus. So what do you do? Well, Graeme Swann aside, it seems that most fancy a bit of whinge. Crisis talks about the antics of Texan billionaire Sir Allen Stanford – that’s the chap paying the bills – fondling their women and entering their dressing rooms. After an early start, a long day at work, being stuck in traffic, its cold, wet and dark, I’m afraid I don’t have much sympathy. Controls your wives and get over it. You don’t need the money.

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