September 2007

Spies have brought it to TVC’s attention that master of hyperbole, Mark Nicholas, must be finding it hard to pay the bills with cricket broadcasting these days. Once of Channel 4, and now of the Channel 5 highlights, Nicholas is presenting ‘Britain’s Best Dish’ on ITV. Ludicrous? Completely lacking in logic? You bet! Is almost as silly as the boy Lovejoy presenting Something for the Weekend. Channel Nine, call him back!


So India won the Twenty20 competition. Congratulations to them, and what a surprise. Shame I missed the match. I, like many other millions of people in the world, have to work on a Monday, so missed the final of what has been a cracking tournament. Would it not have made more sense to play it yesterday? Not to mind. Thoroughly enjoyed a thrilling tournament, even though we were (as Boycs would say) “rooooooooooobish”. Looking forward to the next one.

A strange thing happened to me today. For half an hour, the County Championship became exciting, a competition worth winning. Lancashire needed less than fifty to win against Surrey and take first place, but with two wickets and less than 10 overs left. Lancashire had done valiantly to even get close to the 500-odd they needed to win the game. Lancashire scraped their way nearer to the title before, guttingly, Newby and then Cork were out, meaning that Surrey won by 24 runs and Sussex took top place. Bugger.

Oh, and who’d have predicted this? Pakistan and India to contest the Twenty20 final. Should be a humdinger.

Its a funny old game. In a little over 24 hours England’s bright young hope with the ball was being pumelled for the first set of six sixes against a major international side, by an Indian side that looked like they’d be joining England on the plane out. Just over a day later and it is the Saffas that are using the exit door and taking an early trip to Maverick’s. The perpetual chokers lived up to their tag and capitulated against the Indians. Sri Lanka also crashed out, after being boshed by the Canary Yellows. This is a great tournament.

Paul Collingwood has been fined a grand for being in an “inappropriate place” (local reports suggest the Mavericks Revue Bar, decide for yourself) on Saturday night. He had a beer and went home. Good lad, shame he was spotted then was out for a duck the next day and England lost.

According to Zanzee, your Southern African Holiday Guide, Mavericks “is an exclusive upmarket gentleman’s club that caters for your needs in every way imaginable… the menu is simply mouth-watering!”

Another game another disappointing run chase. Desperate cricket, desperate result, another desperate competition. England invented Twenty20 and is being shown how to play it by the rest of the world. Collingwood reckons England were “ten per cent off the mark… one innings and one partnership away from winning the game.” Apparently England can qualify if NZ beat the Saffas, England beat India and India beat the Saffas too… then it is on run rate.

…and as Herschelle Gibbs will tell you, dropping them can cost dear. Yesterday England should have beaten South Africa and didn’t, thanks to some butterfingeredness, good Saffa bowling and KP getting himself out in rather bizarre circumstances. England still should have won though, but again there was some strange selections. Maddy was dropped for Snape – which shortened the batting order – and Snape only bowled one over and was way out of his depth when batting. Surely Dimi would have been a better bet. Ho hum, only the Kiwis tomorrow.

For more clinical analysis, read a professional!

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