Jonny from accounts is steaming down the hill, despite almost tripping on the astro-matting, he delivers neither a wide or no-ball at a pace not exceeding 50mph. The ‘batsman’, the best player in the East Town Cabs Wednesday night XI almost swings himself off his feet to cuff the ball to point, where Derek (the smelliest programmer in the North West) drops the ball. Ho hum, at least you managed to get 11 players, even though three are wearing shorts!

Ahhh, the joys of work cricket. The evening class of village cricketers, 11-year-old sons, test match wannabes and the occasional decent player present to smash you all over the place. Squabbles over the batting order, retire at 25, “get on with it”, terrible running and even more terrible fielding. 16 eight-ball overs and finish in the dark.

You will play in the rain, probably nick off first up, and your team will lose yet another match in the Dave’s Pizza House Sponsored Evening Cricket League. Like roadcrash TV, you keep going back.