July 2007


The Village Cricketer is very excited as this coming week the brave cricketers of the Keele Reefer Association play three games in three days on tour in Devon. The tour is supported by TVC and reports will appear on this site in due course. The itinerary is as follows:

Monday July 30, 2007
2pm: KRA v Sidmouth Cricket Club

Sidmouth Cricket Club 

Sidmouth is a small seaside town on the east Devon coast and a popular tourist destination. It is a frequent winner of the Britain in Bloom awards. Sidmouth is famous for its annual folk festival which attracts musicians and visitors from around the world. Famous people from Sidmouth include social anthropologist Sir Edmund Leach. Founded in 1823, Sidmouth Cricket Club is one of Devon’s largest cricket clubs. It plays in division one of the Devon County League. The club’s main ground, The Fortfield, is one of Devon’s finest staging Devon County Cricket Club first team one day and three day matches.

Tuesday July 31, 2007
2.30pm: KRA v Ottery St Mary Cricket Club

Ottery St Mary Cricket Club 

Based in the beautiful Otter Valley, Ottery St. Mary is six miles from England’s first Natural World Heritage Site, the Jurassic Coast of East Devon and Dorset and about eleven miles from the ancient city of Exeter. A small town of around 7,000 people, it is particularly famous for the ‘Tar Barrels’, where every November 5th local lunatics cover beer barrels in tar, set fire to them, and hoist them onto their shoulders. Ottery St. Mary cricket club was founded in 1858 and its first XI plays in Division D of the East of the Devon Cricket League.

Wednesday August 1, 2007
1.30pm: KRA v Torquay Cricket Club

Torquay Cricket Club 

Founded in 1851, Torquay Cricket Club is another of Devon’s finest and plays in the Premier division of the Devon Cricket League. Torquay lies 16 miles south of Exeter along the A380 on the north of Torbay. In the 19th century it became a fashionable seaside resort. Renowned for its healthy climate, it earned the nickname of the English Riviera. Famous people born in Torquay include best-selling crime novelist Agatha Christie and porn-star Layla Jade, who starred in the genre defining movie Ben Dover’s Butt Bangers Bonanza.

By today’s standards the greats of the 1980s had pretty dodgy barnets. There are also some pretty dodgy barnets about now too though, so The Village Cricketer has decided to select a side made up of the worst hair in world cricket: The Village Cricketer’s Bad Hair Day XI.

At this point in time I am two batters short, it seems as though batsmen around world cricket today generally have a bit more style. Your suggestions would be appreciated.

Michael Vaughan: It seems from watching the current test against India that Vaughany has developed a bit of a mullet. I will blame this on the fact that he spent a lot of his life in Sheffield.

Mullet

Hamish Marshall:  Stylish middle-order Kiwi batsman, the proud owner of a regular dodgy perm, he bouffed it up for a memorable  Twenty20 match against the Aussies back in 2005.

Bad perm 

Paul Collingwood: Not a bad chop in recent times, but the do on his Cricinfo profile photo is dreadful. The main reason for his inclusion is for being a ginger, it has been reported that he said he brings “a bit of ginger to the England team”

A bit of ginge

Andrew Symonds: Also made it into TVC’s most annoying XI. Roy turned down the opportunity to play for England, but redeemed himself by turning up drunk before Australia’s embarrassing loss to Bangladesh on the Ashes tour. Long dreadlocks bulge in an unsightly fashion from beneath his helmet.

Dreadlocked

Mahendra Singh Dhoni: 26 year old Indian wicketkeeper. According to Cricinfo, “swashbuckling with the bat and secure with the wicketkeeping gloves… his neck-length hair adds to his dash”

Dash

Jason Gillespie: Where’s your caravan? Gipseyeque Aussie paceman now wasting the remainder of his career at Yorkshire.

Gypsy 

Lasith Malinga: The slinger from Sri Lanka, Malinga learnt his cricket on the beach and probably got his haircut at the same place. Big star, big hair

Slinger 

Shanthakumaran Sreesanth: Former Indian breakdancing champion who now bowls pacey outswingers. Hair these days is more respectable than the old mushroom style, still pretty bad

Hairum scareum 

Ryan Sidebottom: Sideshow Bob lookalike wearing bad hair for Nottinghamshire and England.

Sideshow

They can bat, can bowl and are excellent fielders. However three Aussie academy players have been kicked out because they wouldn’t tidy their bedrooms.

Mark Cosgrove, Aaron Finch and David Warner are to leave the centre following their sanction for “repeated inappropriate treatment of accommodation facilities”.

The Age reports that the trio “were warned several times about a lack of cleanliness and hygiene in their rooms… but their general untidiness continued until complaints from apartments staff filtered back to CA, leading to the suspension.”

You bad boys, go and sit on the naughty step!

I like Marcus Trescothick. He is a fine fine batsman and the England team is better with him in it. However I do have a slight problem with the fact that he has declared himself unavailable for September’s Twenty20 World Championship in South Africa as well as England’s winter tours of Sri Lanka and New Zealand.

Thing is, he may well have not recovered fully from his “stress-related illness”, however by playing for Somerset he is showing that he is fit enough to play. Tresco is still one of England’s 13 centrally contracted players, and I would assume on one of the higher paying bands. England are paying him to play and he is basically saying no thanks, I fancy the winter off. I am not sure that is quite right.

Aussie newspaper

If you are interested, Tresco has an official website, which is a little out of date.

So, the rain and umpires conspired to save India from certain defeat at Lords. While the draw was unfortunate for England, it was good to see an exciting and close test match. The fans inside Lords on day five were on the edge of their seats, somthing not seen since the summer of 2005. You don’t need England to be competitive against the Aussies for exciting cricket, you just need two pretty evenly match teams.

So, Worcestershire has abandoned the Championship match against the world’s greatest county cricket club without a ball being bowled. A statement said: “Due to severe weather and a warning from the environment agency about the impending flooding of Worcestershire’s ground it has been decided to abandoned the County Championship match against Lancashire.”

Given that the ECB has ordered the game between Worcestershire and Kent to be replayed later in the season (a decision that Lancashire, Yorkshire and Hampshire have already registered their protest against)does this mean that the Lancashire match can be replayed?

Ahhh, Lords on test match morning. The highlight of the English sporting calendar. Thousands of excited fans flocking to St John’s Wood for a day of cricket at the most wonderful ground in the world. Well thousands of fans plus members of the MCC. The MCC is a fine institution, lots of middle-aged to elderly chaps dressing in the bacon and eggs, getting smashed on Pimms, G&Ts and Port in the morning, followed by a good lunch and a long sleep (misses the afternoon session), only waking up in time for tea. What a life… one for the privileged, the wealthy and the well connected. ‘Tis not for the hoi polloi or the Village Cricketers of the world! Did you know that the beer in the members’ bars at Lords is a good 50p a pint cheaper than in the public bars? Hmmm, and it comes in a glass!

Sleeping like a baby

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